Starting Over Again

along with my two teenagers, i start school today, everyone. i'm excited because i only made this decision a couple of weeks ago and it's been only mildly challenging to actually get everything set. it's interesting to ponder what i believe has stood in my way all this time. i began school years ago--turns out it was 15 years ago--when they told me my credits had to be less than five years old, i knew that mine were at least eight, then i called to check. FIF-TEEN years. what the hell have i been doing all this time?! everything and nothing, that's what. that's all. daily rituals that all humans have--that we all get so sucked into. work, children, families, friends and every other possible thing necessary and not that we can pick up and put in our knapsacks which keep getting heavier and heavier until we simply cannot figure out why we can't get out of bed in the mornings.

well, i haven't been able to get out of bed for about a year. i cannot tolerate the thought that there's nowhere else for me to go, so i have been forced to examine myself. and put down this heavy-a$$ knapsack. i started to go thru it and found things in it that i had forgotten about years ago. things that i've been carrying around long after they needed to be carried. why have i wasted precious time like this? know what, that part doesn't matter either, essentially. what matters is that i've dumped the knapsack out (i'll sort thru it later--or not) and i'm putting books and a shiny new future in it. talk about relief.

i said that to say to all my friends and passersby of happenstance, it's never too late. so here i go on my new adventure. say a prayer for me or send plenty of positive energy my way--however you prefer to do it. because i'm going and i'd love to have all of you along for the ride.